Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Funny Car Jokes

1. A guy walks into a shop and says: "I'd like a gas cap for my KIA." The owner thinks for a few seconds and replies: "Ok, that seems like a fair trade."

2. "I rent a lot of cars, but I don't always know everything about them. So a lot of times, I drive for like ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. It's really not an emergency brake; it's an emergency "make the car smell funny" lever." - Mitch Hedberg UK Car Rental

3.A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"

4. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

God drove Adam and Eve out of the garden in a fury.

5. Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.

6. What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

7. Don't drink while driving – you will spill the beer.

Looking to rent a car - Rent it here - cheap car rentals

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Sunday, July 13, 2014

Pencil Art......... and its reason


Five important lessons to learn from a humble pencil.


1 . It tells you that everything you do will always leave a Mark


2. You can always correct the mistake you make


3. The important thing in life is what you are from inside and not from out side


4. In life you will undergo painful sharpenings which will make you better in whatever you do


5. Finally, to be the best you can be, you must allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you

Mail sent by Narayan Murthy to all Infosys staff:

It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on...


PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...And who's at work? Most of them ???


Take a closer look...All or most specimens are ??

Something male species of the human race...


Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!Any guesses???


Let's ask one of them...


Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home...Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee that is why I am working late...Importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!


"This is the scene in most research centers and software companies andother off-shore offices.Bachelors "Time-passing" during late hours in theoffice just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...


Now what r the consequences...


"Working" (for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback, (oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).


They aren't helping things too...


To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!


Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... andThat's when the problem starts... b'coz u start having commitments at hometoo.


For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.


People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...


Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it".


All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.


*So what's the moral of the story??


** Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!*


Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture whichwill in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.


There are hundred other things to do in the evening..


Learn music...Learn a foreign language...


Try a sport... TT, cricket.........


Importantly Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town...And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low(plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.


Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad:


*"Life's calling, where are you??"*Please pass on this message to all those colleagues And please do itbefore leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!


IT'S A TYPICAL INDIAN MENTALITY THAT WORKING FORLONG HOURS MEANS VERY HARD WORKING & 100% COMMITMENT ETC.


PEOPLE WHO REGULARLY SIT LATE IN THE OFFICE DONTKNOW TO MANAGE THEIR TIME. SIMPLE !

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Dont be too Busy....Excellent - Axe Effect

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Little Extremal Thriller



So want to become a kiddy, with a cycle travelling across the globe, then here are few places visit around the world. Visit the Travel Blog to get the tips to travel to choose your destinations.

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Loan Loan Go Away...

Loan Loan Go Away
Don't come any other way
People need to live in a peaceful way
Loan Loan Go Away.....

Isn't this nice... People with lot of debts like this really ;)

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Sunday, January 17, 2010

VERY INTERESTING STUFF - Don't Miss it

This is an forwarded email, that I received one of my friends.

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was
invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus
the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on
prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly
than the U.S. Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women
can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in
their hair.


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The first novel ever written on a typewriter:
Tom Sawyer.


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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.


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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents
a great king from history:

Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs
-Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar


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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =
12,345,678,987,654,321


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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse
has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds
received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the
person died of natural causes.


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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is
the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession


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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far
would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand


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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.


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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey


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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured
on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress
tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase.........
'goodnight, sleep tight.'


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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000
years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would
supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey
beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called
the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.


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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and
quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender
would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and
Q's'


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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When
they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet
your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.


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At least 75% of people who read this will try to
lick their elbow!

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