Special Scorpian, Movies, Fun Network, Just Jolly, Jokes with Morals

Little Extremal Thriller

2010-08-10T03:47:00.000-07:00

Loan Loan Go Away...

2010-02-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

Loan Loan Go Away
Don't come any other way
People need to live in a peaceful way
Loan Loan Go Away.....

Isn't this nice... People with lot of debts like this really ;)

VERY INTERESTING STUFF - Don't Miss it

2010-01-17T21:18:00.000-08:00

This is an forwarded email, that I received one of my friends.

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was
invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus
the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on
prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly
than the U.S. Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women
can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in
their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter:
Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile
National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents
a great king from history:

Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs
-Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =
12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse
has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds
received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the
person died of natural causes.

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is
the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far
would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured
on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress
tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase.........
'goodnight, sleep tight.'

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000
years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would
supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey
beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called
the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and
quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender
would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and
Q's'

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When
they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet
your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to
lick their elbow!

2010 Security Suites: The Best and Worst

2009-12-22T21:04:00.000-08:00

2010 Security Suites: The Best and Worst

Dead Lock - What a Pity?d

2009-12-16T05:43:00.000-08:00

Frying Pan & Husband and Wife Jokes

2009-03-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked.

The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".

The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on

"The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.

"Your horse phoned"

A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF MISCOMMUNICATION!!!

2009-03-27T01:49:00.000-07:00

A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her armsaround his neck: "Darling, I have great news: " I'm a month overdue. I think we'regoing to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell,because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "

Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, ! it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company.

"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"

"Absolutely." "Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull,rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a monthoverdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yoursoff."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.

"! I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

"WWWHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT?????

Milking Machine

2009-03-27T01:45:00.000-07:00

A farmer orders an expensive milking machine. He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch. Soon he realizes that the equipment provides him with more pleasure than his wife does.

But when the fun is over, he realizes that he cannot remove the instrument from his tool, anxiously he reads the manual, but does not find any useful information.

He tries every button on the instrument, without success. Finally the farmer decides to call the customer hotline.

''Hello, I just bought a cow milking machine from your company, it works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?''

"Don't worry sir'', replies the customer service person, ''the machine will release automatically once it has collected two liters!"

EISH !!!!

See the English! Sorry Read the English Jokes Here :)

2009-03-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

I got this as a forwarded email. Thought, I should make you laugh.

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Outside a London second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world :

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco :
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT AND SEE THE MANAGER.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a Calcutta Coffee House:
PEOPLE DISCARDING CIGARETTE STUBS IN CUPS WILL BE SERVED COFFEE IN ASH TRAYS

Funny JAVA Interview, Just for Fun, Office Jokes and Humour

2008-12-18T00:25:00.000-08:00

This is an forwarded mail to me regarding an JAVA Interview.

Q. What is the difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different ... nothing more

Q. What is JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee

Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.

Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server ? Which methodology will follow ?
A. Send it through courier.

Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA ?
A. As you wish , I do not have any objections.

Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ?
A. Non living things can't communicate.

Q. What is meant by flickering ?
A. Closing and opening of eyes at girls.

Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.

Q. What is the use of Servlets ?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.

Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads ?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.

Q. When is update method called ?
A. Who is update method?

Q. What is JAR file ?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.

Q. What is JINI ?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.

Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I will give invitation.

Q. How you can know about drivers and database information ?
A. I will go and enquire in the bus depot.

Q. What is serialization ?
A. Arranging one after the other from left to right.

Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used.

Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ?
A. When we sow a binary seed , a binary tree will grow.

Q. What is the exact difference between Unicast and Multicast object ?
A. If in a society, if there is only one caste, then it is Unicast, else it is multicast

Hospital Jokes | Pergnant Lady Jokes | Innocent Jokes

2008-04-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors Clinic.

He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I'm having a baby.

"With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."

Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby.

"With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked "Then why did you eat him?"

School Jokes | Teacher Student Jokes | Past Jokes

2008-04-04T06:38:00.000-07:00

Teacher: "What is your name?".

Student: "Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."

Teacher: "When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."

Student: "My name is Sunlight.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Teacher: What happened in 1869?

Student: Gandhi ji was born.

Teacher : What happened in 1873?

Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
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Question:What is the fullform of maths.

Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?

Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
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Teacher : Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.

Student: A holiday
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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.

Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher :Why?Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------

Teacher: "Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "

Johnny: "Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
------------ --------- --------- -------
Teacher: How old is ur father.

Sunny: As old as I am.Teacher:How is it possible?

Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
------------ --------- --------- -------

Business Office Jokes Fun and Humour | Employees New Job

2008-04-03T05:36:00.000-07:00

Little Johnny Jokes - Fun and Fun only - Adam Eve Extreme Jokes

2008-02-18T05:32:00.000-08:00

Grandma was saying good-night to Little Johnny when he remarked, "Mommy and Daddy have some very important visitors downstairs."
Grandma replied, "Yes they do, but what makes you think they are important?" "Just listen," Little Johnny replied. "Mommy is laughing at all Daddy's jokes!"
_______
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. Shestarted her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, standup!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Doyou think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to seeyou standing there all by yourself!"
________

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream onher face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myselfbeautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with atissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
________

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in classShe called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
________

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergartenclass, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was createdout of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed himlying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going tohave a wife."

________

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their localpolice station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture andasked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said thepoliceman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." LittleJohnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
___________

"A happy heart is like good medicine"

Valentines Day, The Real Meaning , Febrauary 14th, Valentines Real History

2008-02-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

Valentine – is really meant to say – lovely, loving, lovable, C’est amour! And so on. It is not only meant for the Lovers, but as well to express the true love for your brother’s, Sisters and Parents too. The real history is bit different, though in the modern times it meant to mean only for Love (A boy and A Girl), this is due to the media and other business reasons the world Valentine, has been changed. Though the history states that it the secret love, it meant to say that the soldiers who were in the battle field had to miss their family, wife and children, till the peace comes. So the Valentines Day was formed, that to express their love to their parents, brothers, sisters, children (Son’s and Daughters) and friends.

Valentine's day isn't just for couples,It's for friends too....It's a special day set aside,To say thanks for all you do,And to let you know how grateful I am,To have a friend like you....There have been many times,That you were always there,Without a moment of hesitation,With a caring heart so rare,To show me support and friendship too....My life has been touched by the Angel in you.

The Real History of Valentines Day ( An Extract)

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Marriage - The Real Quotes - True and Interesting Marriage Quotes

2008-01-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Dont be too Busy....Excellent - Axe Effect

2008-01-10T04:31:00.000-08:00

What is Globalization? An example of Globalization

2008-01-09T07:01:00.000-08:00

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by an African, using Bill Gates's - (an American)technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Pakistani men, and trucked to you by Mexicans ..and now being read by a person sitting in South Africa who should be working instead of wasting time like this!

That, my friend, is Globalization.

Business Deal - Bill Gates - President - Father - World Bank - Marriage

2008-01-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice

Son: "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."

Son: "Well, in that case...ok"Next Father Approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case...ok"This is how business is done!!

Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything!! But what counts isyour attitude which should be positive.

Funny Collection of Leave Letters | Leave Letter Funny Format andn Words

2007-12-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

ENJOY:

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people.

1. A student's leave letter:

"As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------
2. A candidate's application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist And an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

3. I.T.I., Employee:

An employee applied for leave as follows:Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

5. A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

6. An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------
8. A covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

9. From H.A.L. Administration dept:As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------- 10. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave".
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

11. Letter writing: "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was Performing his daughter's wedding:"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.

Do You Know All these Facts? General Knowledge facts......

2007-12-17T02:14:00.000-08:00

ØIntelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair

ØThe world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

Ø Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and earsnever stop growing.

Ø You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

Ø A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation.

Ø Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes afew weeks.

Ø Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

Ø The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

Ø When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.

Ø Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephonedhis Wife or mother because they were both deaf.

Ø "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language

Ø Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speakingcountries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

Ø The smallest unit of time is the yoctosecond

Ø Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

Ø "Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutivedouble letters

Ø Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handedpeople do

Ø The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses everyletter in the English language

Ø If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line wouldnever end because of the rate of reproduction

Ø China has more English speakers than the United StatesØ Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.

Ø Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.

Ø The longest place name still in use is:Taumatawhakatangiha ngaoauauotametea turi-Pukakpikima ungahoronukupoka iwhenuakitanatahu- a New Zealand hill

Ø If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu (US)at approximately 4:30pm the previous day.

Something U May not know......

2007-12-02T21:25:00.000-08:00

H ere are somethings you may not know......

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
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2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
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3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
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4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
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5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .
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6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
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7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
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8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath..
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9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
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11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
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12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
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13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
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14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.
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15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
16. If a statue of a warrior on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. - All invented by women.
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18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
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19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
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20. A snail can sleep for three years.
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21. All polar bears are left handed.
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22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
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23. Butterflies taste with their feet.
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24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
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25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
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26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
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27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
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28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
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29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
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30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
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31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
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32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
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33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
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34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
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35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
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36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
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37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Relax - Email is not all the end means - Just jokes

2007-11-27T07:46:00.000-08:00

A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

"You are employed." He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."

The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."

I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job."

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realized that he can survive by this Way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, his money doubled or tripled
every day. Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later , the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US ..

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied, "I don't have an email". The broker answered curiously, "You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an email?!!"

The man thought for a while and replied, "Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!"

Moral of the story:

M1 - Internet is not the solution to your life.

M2 - If you don't have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

M3 - If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an office boy, than a millionaire. .........

Have a great day!!!

Pls Note: - Do not forward this email to me back, I'm closing all my
email addresses & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Useful resources- IT Jobs Non - IT Jobs, Freshers Job, IT recruitment, Marketing links, Internet Security

2007-10-25T01:37:00.001-07:00

My Other Blog Links: Internet Security Blog - http://yuvi-internetsecurity.blogspot.com/

Internet Marketing Basic Concepts - http://www.yuvarajr.ssl.safewebshop.com/

Fun & Entertainment - http://specialscorpian.blogspot.com/

JobsNtech Blog:

Post your Resume for free and choose the right career in JobsNtech Talent Consultancy Services - Make an Better career for a Better Future - For more information Visit -http://jobsntech.blogspot.com
Submit URL: Online home shopping network

Online home shopping network offers best selling products that ranges from grocery to an automobile. Browse the links and buy your most required products by sitting at home.

http://www.links-builder.com

Rent a Car Dubai

SEO services

Growth of Technology | Too Much into Technology | Best Derivatives of Technlogy | Special Scorpians Technology Related Pictures | Best Mail Collection

2007-10-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

Interesting Facts about Formula 1 Racing | F1 Racer | Michael Schumacher | The World's Best Formula 1 Racer

2007-10-05T04:34:00.000-07:00

Here are some interesting facts about Formula 1 (F1) Racing

01. An F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!

02. Formula 1 cars have over a kilometre of cable, linked to about 100 sensors and actuators which monitor and control many parts of the car.

03. An F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!

04. F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....thats the extent to which the engines r pushed to perform...

05. When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph !!!

06. An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah thats right!!!)

07. At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.

08. In an F1 car the engine typically revs upto 18000 rpm,(the piston travelling up and down 300 times a second!!) wheres cars like the palio, maruti 800,indica rev only upto 6000 rpm at max. Thats 3 times slower.

09. The brake discs in an F1 car have an operating temperature of approx 1000 degees Centigrade and they attain that temp while braking before almost every turn...that is why they r not made ofsteel but of carbon fibre which is much more harder and resistant to wearand tear and most of all has a higher melting point.

10. If a water hose were to blow off, the complete cooling system would empty in just over a second.

11. Gear cogs or ratios are used only for one race, and are replaced regularly to prevent failure, as they are subjected to very high degrees of stress.

12. The fit in the cockpit is so tight that the steering wheel must be removed for the driver to get in or out of the car. A small latch behind the wheel releases it from the column. Levers or paddles for changing gear are located on the back of the wheel. So no gearstick! The clutch levers are also on the steering wheel, located below thegear paddles.

13. To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added downforce can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.

14. Without aerodynamic downforce, high-performance racing cars have sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of control at 160 kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.

15. The amount of aerodynamic downforce produced by the front and rear wings and the car underbody is amazing. Once the car is travelling over 160 kph, an F1 car can generate enough downforce to equal it's own weight. That means it could actually hold itself to the CEILING of a tunnel and drive UPSIDE down!

16. In a street course race like the monaco grand prix, the downforce provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!

17. The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 litres of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 litre family car.They use the same refueling rigs usedon US military helicopters today.

18. TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. & 8 sec to read above point.

19. Race car tyres don't have air in them like normal car tyres. Most racing tyres have nitrogen in the tyres because nitrogen has a more consistent pressure compared to normal air. Air typically contains varying amounts of water vapour in it, which affects its expansionand contraction as a function of temperature, making the tyre pressureunpredictable.

20. During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.

21. Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km (That's Khandala and back). 22. A dry-weather F1 tyre reaches peak operating performance (best grip) when tread temperature is between 900C and 1200C.(Waterboils boils at 100C remember)

At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second. So Formula Driving is not piece of cake, DEAR!!!

No Wonder, thats why Michael Schumacher is the world richest SportsPerson!!!!

Mind boggling Fact - Jus too good | HR Manager | Heaven and Hell | Human Resources | Devil | St.Peters| Just for fun

2007-09-27T05:02:00.001-07:00

One day while walking down the street a highly successfulHuman Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died.

Her soularrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peterhimself."Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, itseems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had aHuman Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what todo with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman."Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is letyou have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choosewhichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", saidthe woman"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator andit went down-down-down to hell.The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto theputting green of a beautiful golf course.

In the distance was a countryclub and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executivesthat she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns andcheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and theytalked about old times.

They played an excellent round of golf and at nightwent to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak andlobster dinner.She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kindof cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing.

She was havingsuch a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybodyshook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and foundSt. Peter waiting for her."Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up andSt. Peter came and got her."So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven.

Now youmust choose your eternity,"The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'dsay this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had abetter time in Hell."So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in adesolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.

She saw her friends weredressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and puttingit in sacks.The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her."I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and therewas a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced andhad a great time.

Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all myfriends look miserable."The Devil looked at her smiled and told....

v
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v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
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"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're anEmployee"

Horror | Evil Dead | Vampire | Thrilling and Scaresome Movies

2007-08-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

A Few Picture from Horror Movies................

At last the Hero is here with a BIG HAMMER & a SMALL RIFLE..........

Evil Dead - I saw this movie when I was young and pretty scared to go out in Nights after that.......

Some Thing Different | Funday Celebrations | Office Entertainment | Programmes in Office

2007-08-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

Hey!These are the picutures taken in our office Funday celebrations. To have a look at the entire picture gallery visit photo site @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/yuvaraj

FunDay Started with a Cake Cutting............Yummy

The Mass Dancing - An enthuciastic group of dancers

Do I need to comment on this? That me here.....So your choiceReady for the show......
Just Posed as Models - Though Really we are not ;)
Some Happiest Moments........Cake Smashing.......
Ah! Nice set of Winners
Tried Something Different
Solo Performer!&$^#(#!*#^$

Ah! Again its me! Tired to give an pose even............

These Moments We Never Forget until............................................................

Under Sea Beauty With Fishes and the Color of Sky

2007-08-14T00:40:00.000-07:00

Hope all of you like to see and enjoy the fishes either in your aquarium or under sea. Here is some lively collection of undersea pictures which I enjoyed. The source from where I got these pictures is listed below. Enjoy exploring the sea............. the name of the fishes are its image name itself. Wonder what's my next topic...............

I went through this pic in a website, and this impressed me really. Have posted a few pics from the one I enjoyed a lot.

Source: http://www.richard-seaman.com/

HUSBANDS !!! - Women are impossible to please

2007-08-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. . On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth

Honorable MEN | Understand you Girls | Moral Story | Childhood Stories with a Moral

2007-08-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Honorable MEN Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man) If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

Wild Life | Jungle Life | Birds & Animals Picture.

2007-07-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

These are some photographs which I got to my mailbox. This was so interesting that I have posted them in my Blog. Hope you enjoy this too....................... Enjoy the Beauty

SAVE WILDLIFE.............GROW TREES.............SAVE NATURE........LOVE THE WORLD

Hot Wheels | Hot Girls | Car Models| Best Models

2007-07-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

Wow! This seems to be some excellent pics, which I got via email - This is an extract from the url ritemail.blogspot.com. Enjoy - just for change.

Cooooooollllllllllllllllllll now....................

Worst day of life........

2007-07-25T03:08:00.000-07:00

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink . He stays like that for half-hour. Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying." "No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car,I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they couldn't do anything.I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison ..."

Source: http://arvindschumi.blogspot.com/

Law of Corporate! | Just for Fun | Coporate Humour

2007-07-25T03:06:00.001-07:00

Two guys were hiking through the Jungle when they spotted a Tiger that looked both hungry and fast. One of the guys reached into his pack and pulled out a pair of Nike.

His friend looked at him: "Do you really think those shoes are going to make you run faster than that tiger?"

I don't have to run faster than that tiger, his friend replied: "I just have to run faster than YOU..."

The Western Style | My Favorites | Music Forever

2007-07-25T02:03:00.000-07:00

The Real Taste of the Western Music Rocking all over the World. Here's my favourite Music Team........... Music Bazzzzzzzzzz Ahead...................Scroll Down to have Look.....

The ONE & ONLY

Rocking the City

The Unique Voice

The Real SPICE of Life

Western Style & Look....

Heavenly......

The Famous 5's

The Music Creaters......

Lovely.....

The Incredible.....

Low to High Pitcher's....

The Hot looking Cool Singer....

The Taste of Music

The Breeze.......

The Thunder.......with Lightening Music

Whozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Next.................. In My Thunder TEAM..........

Shivaji - The Boss | Rajnikanth's Latest Movie | Latest Tamil Movie Release | Shivaji Pictures

2007-07-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

Shivaji - The Boss Rajnikanth's Movie has been now the choice for all the people, which has created an history all over the world, with the highest tickets sold out. Enjoy the Movie in theatres with digital surround to get the real taste of the movie...................

Celebrities Pencil Arts.............. Extract - GurlzGroup

2007-07-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

Source: Gurlzgroup

Some of the Blogs by My Friends..........

2007-06-21T22:13:00.000-07:00

Scroll Down to Look................

Senthil - Man with Mission - http://ursenix.blogspot.com/

Arvind - The Entertainer - http://arvindschumi.blogspot.com/

Handle With Care ;-) - http://prabhu-autograph.blogspot.com/

Satish - Silent Killer - http://newsware.blogspot.com/

Praveen - The Enthusiastic - http://praveen268.blogspot.com/

Finally its Mine........ http://specialscorpian.blogspot.com/

Internet Security- http://yuvi-internetsecurity.blogspot.com/

Trench Wars - blog on Internet Security & Online Marketing- http://trenchwars.wordpress.com

Online Marketing - http://www.yuvarajr.ssl.safewebshop.com/

Jokes - Just for a Change.......

2007-06-19T02:28:00.000-07:00

A Professor explaining Marketing Concepts to the Students:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich."Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich."Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich."Marry me - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich!"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -"That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. -"That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him -"That's competition eating into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. -"That's restriction for entering new markets"

*******

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

*******

Man: Is there any way for long life?Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

********

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fightbegins!

********

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

********

Different Phases of a man:

After engagement: Superman

After Marriage: Gentleman

After 10 years: Watchman

After 20 years: Doberman

*********

There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it

**********

Marvellous answer

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!!Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a newone. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "

The doctor leaned over and whispered to themechanic.... .

and said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".

Scenes in Black............. Furious & Amazing

2007-06-13T02:14:00.000-07:00

Pencil Art......... and its reason

2007-06-13T00:57:00.001-07:00

Five important lessons to learn from a humble pencil.

1 . It tells you that everything you do will always leave a Mark

2. You can always correct the mistake you make

3. The important thing in life is what you are from inside and not from out side

4. In life you will undergo painful sharpenings which will make you better in whatever you do

5. Finally, to be the best you can be, you must allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you

Ghost Rider - Scene & Wall Papers - No Fear

2007-03-23T02:32:00.000-07:00

Ghost Rider is a 2007 superhero film based on the fictional Marvel Comics character Ghost Rider. The film is directed by Mark Steven Johnson and stars Nicolas Cage as Ghost Rider. The film was released in Egypt on February 14, 2007 and in Australia, Serbia, Puerto Rico, Malaysia and Lebanon on February 15, 2007 and on February 16, 2007 in the United States, Canada, Mexico and Turkey.

Source: WikiPedia

Johnny Blaze, or John Blaze, is a fictional, supernatural superhero in the Marvel Comics universe. He is the second Marvel character to use the name Ghost Rider, following the Western hero later known as the Phantom Rider, and preceding Daniel Ketch, the second supernatural Ghost Rider. Though there are spiderman, he-man, Superman and so on, Ghost Rider is the fever of the city now in the movie theater. Here's some ghost rider wallpapers for you. Though you seem to be a low rider now soon you will change to Ghost Rider

Really Amazing & Smart

Firing Ablaze

Safe Belt of Ghost Rider

Drastic Never Have would seen such a Rider