A Professor explaining Marketing Concepts to the Students:
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich."Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich."Marry him." -That's Advertising"
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich."Marry me - That's Telemarketing"
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations"
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:"You are very rich!"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition"
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. -"That's Customer Feedback"
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. -"That's demand and supply gap"
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him -"That's competition eating into your market share"
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. -"That's restriction for entering new markets"
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
Man: Is there any way for long life?Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fightbegins!
It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor!!Please come over here for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a newone. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work? "
The doctor leaned over and whispered to themechanic.... .
and said: "Try to do it when the engine is running ".